When I feel like my life is a Reader's Digest humor column

My students were peacefully working at writing time today, and I had pulled a small group to my kidney table to work.  Out of the quiet background noise, one student's voice rose above the others to explain, "Well, my grandma has a kitty.  And it kinda has two names.  'Gosh' and 'Al Qaeda'.  And it's grey."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  

The Amazing Traveling Grandma!

After reading a book called "Life in the Ocean", a student comes up to me.

Her: "Mr. Graham!  I think my grandma went to Atlantis!"

Me: "Oh?  Why do you think that?"

Her: "Wait, what does my shirt say?"

Me: "Niagara Falls."

Her: "Oh.  She went there!  And bought me this shirt!"

Kids say the darndest things, 2013

Two things that make me chuckle today:
-during our morning analogy ( map : cap :: ? : ? ), we discussed rhyming words.  Rowen quite innocently came up with "map is to cap as lap is to crap".  Totally correct, of course, and apparently kindergartners don't know that "crap" is a naughty word, because no one giggled.
-after lunch, Makaila was quite concerned because she had some "dark bus" stuck on her shoe.  I was confused for a moment because she rides the bus home after school, but when she helpfully explained, "like, the small wood pieces" the fact that she meant "bark dust" became more apparent.

They saw the sign

I came outside for recess duty to this scene: in lining up for transitioning from the cafeteria to recess, Daphne had been spinning (or something) and smotched Ngan right in the face.  Ngan was sobbing and Daphne was giving totally guilty face.  I sent them to the office to get an ice pack and thought nothing of it.

15 minutes later, another teacher comes up to give me Part II of the story: she'd come out to recess a little late and had found Daphne and Ngan standing by the door that led out to the playground with unhappy faces.

"What's going on, girls?" she asked.  "Are you coming or going?"

Daphne replied, "We're trying to get back to recess, but" (pointing) "that sign says that the door has to stay closed and locked!"

Which is, in fact, exactly what the sign says.  Good for them.